31 May 2013

The Future

I need to plan for a future. I haven't really done so yet.

When I was young, I believed I would die sometime around 30. I had no reason to believe that - but I was pretty sure of it. Instead, I came out of the closet when I turned 31, and my whole life changed. In fact, it was almost like my old life did die, and I had a new one.

The years following my coming out were about exploring that new life. And my unquestioned assumption for much of those years would be that I'd be coupled, and that my partner and I would work out the future as it approached.

But evidence now suggests I won't be partnered. I've been single for over half a decade now, and I'm not getting any younger (much less more attractive). I haven't much thought about the future. In fact, I sort of just believed, for a while, I'd die around the time I turn 65. But then I think about how I used to think I'd die around the time I turned 30, and I've exceeded that by a couple of decades already. Who knows how long this thing can go on?

So I need to start thinking about the future.

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